The Bear Market Chronicles
"It Will Be a Golden Age" He Said
January 2025. The promises were grand. "Crypto will moon," they said. "A new era of prosperity," they tweeted. You believed. You bought. You held through the pump... and the dump.
Now every memecoin in your portfolio is down 95% and that golden age feels more like a McDonald's golden arches age.
"You'll Get Tired of Winning" He Said
The only thing you're tired of is checking your portfolio. Every token you touched turned to dust. Libra? Rugged. Melania? Gone. That AI agent coin? Don't even ask.
The winning he promised was apparently for the whales who dumped on you.
The Great Nuke of 2026
February 2026. Every chart is red. Your SOL bags? Obliterated. Your memecoins? Nuclear winter. The only green you'll see is in the salad you're making at your new job.
"The market can stay irrational longer than you can stay solvent." - You, realizing this too late
